If your life was the ground and another person’s life was the seed, would your ground give life to that other person or would it be so dry of love that it literally takes away life from the other person, killing his or her hopes, aspirations, emotional health,joy and happiness. Many people think that to be a blessing to other people you just need to give them money. However, you can be giving another person a lot of money and at the same time be killing their soul with the way you treat them. There are so many men out there in the world who lavish their wives or girlfriends with material possessions and yet torment them with unfaithfulness, mistreatment and every other physical, verbal and emotional abuse. There are so many women in the world with lives that are literally wilting for lack of healthy treatment and attention from their partners. However, this sad scenario is not one which is confined to women only. They are not the only victims. They are many instances where they are the perpetrators. When a woman who is a user has a relationship with a man who is looking for love, the man becomes the victim of her emotional abuse. The man will give his heart, because the woman will take advantage of that man’s desire for love to manipulate him into a what we may term an artificial relationship. An artificial relationship is a make-believe relationship created for the purpose of monetary gain. In it subtle signals of emotional attachment are thrown towards you just enough to make you believe a relationship exists. You only wake up to realize you were just being used when that person, without warning, suddenly walks out of your life to marry another person. You are left asking yourself, “How can a person go off to marry a stranger?” Well, you just never realized it; you were the stranger, not the other person. Your were getting yourself attached to a person who was getting attached to another person. How do you prevent such a situation from happening to you? Well, firstly, there are some signs you can pick up. One of them is when your alleged partner, if I may use that term, only seems to show affection and joy when you buy or give them something. Secondly, they are not willing to publicly acknowledge or celebrate the relationship. They expect and demand financial and material support on the basis of their rights in the relationship and yet at the time are not willing to have you claim any rights in the relationship. If you attempt to claim any rights they see it as a violation of their lives or privacy. I am not in any way saying that one should expect sexual favours in return for financial favours, though that is the way of the world and not to be done among those who are called children of God, but only that if one is truly in love with you they should have the decency to show a sincere affection that is expected of one who is in love with someone. In other words, true love finds it hard to hide its feelings for the object of its affection. You can control your body but you cannot control your love. True love is an out of control forest fire, one which fire fighters find hard to put out. True to the fact, the Bible says so. It reads in Song of Songs 8:6-7:
‘…love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a might flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.‘
Don’t give yourself away cheaply. Don’t give the wealth of your heart to someone who does not deserve it. Love is an asset too precious for the poor to give away carelessly and a commodity whose value the rich cannot afford to take for granted.
As difficult as it may feel at first, it is to your benefit to walk away from a user. The Lord has a better and honest person waiting for you. Do not think that when you walk away from that person you will never find another person. That is just the devil trying his best to keep you in bondage, in an abusive relationship. The relationship that God has for you is a table of goodies spread for you. Things can only get better after you walk away. You won’t be lonely for too long.
‘Look in the scroll of the LORD and read: None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has giben the order, and his Spirit will gather them together'(Isaiah 34:16).